Confessions Part 1

This seemed like some good therapy so I think it'll be an ongoing thing here =) Enjoy!!

#1:
I'm fairly sure a part of me loved you before we ever started dating.

#2:
I love how we can talk for hours, and it feels like no time has passed

#3:
I started to resent you when you started to pull away from me, I think a part of me actually started to fall out of love with you.

#4:
It felt good when you got so upset at the thought of losing me, as much as I hated seeing you so upset, I loved that for the first time in a long time you showed me some emotion.

#5:
After 4 years of an emotionally abusive and draining relationship I went into this guarded, you proved to me that I needed to, but I fear it was already too late

#6:
That night I told you he wanted me? I let him kiss me. Not because I was drunk, not because I wanted him to... but because after telling you how much I needed you to come out with me that night, how much I needed to see you, you told me no. He was there, he was caring, he wanted to see me smile...
And for the record, when I tell you that I need to see you an acceptible answer is not that I can come over when I'm done, that makes me think you just know I'll be drunk and want sex.

#7:
I understand that people sometimes need time, I don't judge or resent you for that. I resent the fact that you pulled away from me and decided to not even try to open up to me.

#8:
I also know that you're going to regret this one day, because I won't wait around forever and you will not find someone like me again. I'm one of a kind, and you're right when you tell me I'm the best thing you've ever had... and the best you'll ever get... just saying...

#9:
I never pushed the subject of you going there with me, because a part of me didn't want you to. It was my safe haven, my hideout, and the place where I could go be free with my friends and get stupid. I never betrayed you down there, I just danced on bars and flirted a lot... I was able to let off steam

#10:
To be fair to you there is someone that I can't let go of, you'd never have to worry about him because he'll never let himself leave and I don't know if I'd ever be able to give him a fair chance, but we both know that there's something there.

#11:
I love you

#12:
I hate that you won't grow up, just that little bit. I understand your life isn't the way you thought it would be, but not being with me won't change that

#13:
I'm not their girlfriends, I won't ask you to leave your friends, and I'd never tell you not to do something.

#14:
I'm not your ex's either. I don't want you to be someone else, I don't want you to give up your dreams. I want to be there for you

#15:
I'm not crying over you anymore. I've cried way too much lately over you, and over us. I cried more then I thought I could on Monday, my tears are dried up.

#16:
I may have told you that I'll be in your life no matter what, but I can't go back to just being friends after all this time. I would miss you, but I will never be able to see you with someone else.

#17:
I resent the fact that you never thought to invite me, it's my hometown for fucks sake!!! Of course I'd want to go. Oh and for the record... that one blog you read that you asked what it was about?? I lied, it's about you.

#18:
If we don't work out, I may move. I miss home, I miss my sister, and I miss the city.

#19:
It's not my fault you're insecure. I've told you more times then I can count that I want you the way you are.

#20:
I don't believe that closing me off will help you sort things out, as you say. I think you will realize that you can't figure things out on your own. Maybe I'll be here... maybe I won't.