Bad Timing

So I've been doing a lot of thinking today, and I've realized I could completely and totally let myself fall for E. Now here's the problem with that: both of us have been in relationships for the past several years, and both of us could probably really use the time alone to try and just be. We talked about it a little today because I finally got brave enough to bring up the subject and he even said, I really think I'm leaning towards being alone for a while. I can respect that, probably more then most people, but it doesn't help the fact that I could see myself really caring about him.

This brings me to the realization that I have the worst timing with things. I mean seriously, this is quite possibly the best guy I know and one that would treat me really well and I end up coming into his life when he doesn't want a girlfriend. How lovely... = I realize I could be patient and just see how things develop, I mean I could really use the time too, but patience is not my best virtue. I do realize it would be a slow thing either way, considering he's quite a ways away from me to begin with, but I just don't know. I really like him, and I like him in that way you end up liking someone when you're in high school and it's all new and all you do is smile. I haven't felt that in a long time. I never really felt that rush with THE BOY, and with THE EX there was a part of that, but I think it was more the way things with him and I progressed. THE BOY just kind of slowly developed, there was no rush. THE EX and I, well I don't even really know, I was so unsure for the first several months of that relationship that I don't know what you'd call it. I was happy, but that lasted for such a short period.

I suppose at this point I'll just play it by ear and see where it goes. Something tells me I could bend him to what I wanted, just a guess and feeling I have, but I don't want him to feel pressured, and I also don't want to push him away. So apparently he's now just my little play thing.... as I've dubbed him. Let's see how long I can play this game without getting burned.